Making A Difference

IT’S ALL COZ OF LOVE… AND IT SURE SAYS IT ALL!!

My sis posted this on her blog, and has showed it to me a couple of times liao… But even though I’ve seen this video clip before (she showed me lar), I can never get tired of it… It is such a meaningful love story, I tell you… OOOooohh… *giggles* So meaningful that I wanna post it, too, hehe… Tells of the love this guy has for his gurl, and how he was willing to sacrifice so much for her… And truly it is a big sacrifice there!! View it:

http://www.geocities.com/lilxsugaxbabi/kiss.html

I’d actually seen it before (one of my friends from BG shared it with me) but it didn’t click in me until my sis told me the brief story of it… And I got kinda addicted to the song (and the whole story, too) hehe…

Well, my sis and I, we were both talking about the story (while watching it) and how sweet the guy was to actually sacrifice his pair of eyes, just so that his beloved can see the beautiful, colorful world again… She was saying that she couldn’t bring herself to do something like that, while I just didn’t agree with her on that… To me, as long as the person whom I care and love for so much, is happy, stays happy and will remain happy, I’ll do whatever it takes!! I’d be willing to give anything… I MEAN IT!! Oh well, that’s just what love is (at least, that’s to my definition, hehe…) If you really love someone, you’d want to go the extra mile for him/her… Right? Otherwise, why would you think Jesus was willing take our place and die for us on the cross? Haha…

GOD CAN DO WONDERS, AMEN!!

I received an SMS from Auntie Bee Kum (my outpost commander) this afternoon, saying that senior commander calls for a meeting this Weds, 8pm… Gosh, of all nights!! Immediately the thought of missing my BG cell meeting made me so frustrated, really… I would usually save my last Weds of the month so I could attend their meetings (they choose to set aside the last week of the month for this guy, Andrew to come and minister to us)… Really love his humble sharing and thoughtful encouragements… But looks like I have to decide fast, and when I asked Commander Theresa if the meeting that she called for was compulsory, it looks like I really didn’t have the choice but to miss Andrew’s sharing this time around… Shoot!! You can imagine me sulking, and once in a while letting it out on my poor, innocent customers… Sorry, but that’s what happens when Elaine’s in a bad mood, so it’s just too bad… But who cares, not like they can see me, haha… Now u get the hint: DO NOT try and irritate me at de wrong time, or else… Thank God my parents didn’t catch my “long face”, otherwise I’m doomed to hear a learn-to-set-your-priorities-right lecture, hehe…

So, anyway, I called up a friend from BG to find out… Just in case, if God was on my side, the meeting with Andrew was cancelled, or at least postponed… It was just a thought that it’d be so wonderful if they would suddenly decide to do something else this week (psst, I didn’t even pray and ask God to do something about it, coz then it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of them… plus I would have sounded like a selfish freak)… Like I said, just a thought… He is such a humorous God, I tell you…

Since I remembered that I actually left something with him last month, I called to check if it was still with him, and whether he could pass it to anyone of the BG residents this Weds, since I will not be able to make it… (Thank God I called him to check, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten this good news, hehe…) Guess what he said? “Err, I’m really sorry Elaine, but I won’t be able to make it this Weds coz I have to attend one of my cell members’ wedding dinner…” Wah liao!! I know I’m such a bad person, but here’s the truth, and nothing but the truth: I was SOOOO happy that I couldn’t stop smiling the whole day… Imagine me facing the computer and smiling to myself, you’d probably think I’m siau!! Lord, you’re amazing, man!!

The good thing is I can still (I have to, anyway) go for the leaders’ meeting and not miss Andrew’s sharing… Ain’t that wonderful? It DEFINITELY is to me!! Ah, the hand of God working wonders… *winkz*

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Hmm, today’s my sister’s first day at college… Gosh, for the past three days, she has been telling me how nervous she was and all, and today itself she was still mentioning that she was scared… Not that I’m complaining, but it’s just funny to see her nervous, anxious look, hehe… (p/s: she’ll smack me for saying this in public, but who cares… haha) Well, I can definitely understand how you’re feeling, Esther… It’s a total difference, compared to sec school… But don’t worry lar, you’ll definitely get used to it, you’re a Sanguine, anyway, right? Ahem ahem… Hehe *winkz*

Looking back at how well you got along with your sec school friends, I’m sure you can do the same with your new friends in coll as well… Keep it up for the Lord, yea? Whatever the circumstances that may come your way, always remember that there’s Someone up there whom you can call on for help and guidance, amen? Remember also to always “stand firm in your faith, and let nothing move u…” Whatever we do, praises from God are always more important than praises from men, agree? Che wah, look who’s talking here… Perasan…

Be a person who will influence the people you hang out with, not the other way around, k? The star that shines so brightly for our Lord… I hereby dedicate Matthew 5:14 & 16 to you!! “You are the light of the world… Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good deeds, and glorify your Father in heaven.” Remember how you led Sook Chin to Christ? I’m so proud of you, man!! If you can do it then, you can do it now, amen? Set your standards high… Most of all, believe in yourself (with the help of God, of course)… Remember the RR pledge: “With God’s help, you will do your best, to serve God, your church & your fellowmen; to live by the Rangers’ Code, and to make the Gloden Rule your daily rule.” Most of all, it is the Holy Spirit that will lead you through, planting the fruit of the spirit in you… Remember the kids’ song that we used to sing last time (even up til today)? Come on, sing with me (*winkz*): The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, the fruit of the Spirit is faithfulness, gentleness & self-control…” Way to go, Esther!! You can do it!!

IN GOD’S PRESENCE…

Havn’t had Uncle Robert leading worship for quite a while oredi… I used to like it when he worship leads, not that I’m choosy on the worship leader, but just that I personally feel the presence of the Lord stronger wheneva he leads, hehe… One of my favourite worship leaders besides Pastor Koon Hee *winkz* The songs were really ministering to me full swing… I have been wanting something different in my life lately… Even after the rally, I was praying and asking the Lord to bring me to a higher level in Him… I have never been so lost in worship before… Focusing on His goodness and faithfulness throughout, I was just chewing in the meaning of the songs, not just singing for the sake of singing… Two of which really meant a lot… The lyrics and the meaning of the whole song in itself…

You Are Beautiful Beyond Description

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard

Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depths of Your love
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty, enthroned above

** And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You

How true… Our Lord is just so beautiful… Faithful, too… No words can ever describe His faithfulness to us… For Him to take us and accepts us as His beloved children, though full of sin and blemish… Thank You, Lord for showing Your love to us by dying on the cross for us… I might have disappointed You in more ways than one, but the fact that You still love and acknowledge me as Your child, accepts me when I come running back to You for forgiveness…

All Heaven Declares

All heaven declares
The Glory of the risen Lord
Who can compare
With the beauty of the Lord

** Forever You will be (echo)
The Lamb upon the throne (echo)
I gladly bow my knee (echo)
To worship You alone

I will proclaim
The Glory of the risen Lord
Who once was slain
To reconcile men to God

Indeed Lord, I wanna come back to the heart of worship… Making You the Lord who rules over my whole life… You will forever be the Lord of all… May find it hard to let go of certain issues in my life, thinking that I can handle it on my own… But time and time again, You have proved that You are in better control of everything!! Thank You for showing me the truth… For it says in Your Word that we shall know the truth, and the truth shall set us free!! Amen to that… Submitting all my plans and desires for the glory of Your kingdom… Thank You, Lord… Amen!!

THE GIFT OF BRAND NEW LIFE…

THE MIX-UP… HAHAHA…

Haihz, what happened yesterday was a joke, man… All the misinterpretation of stories, hmm… Well, I mentioned about the audition for news reading yesterday? I called Wei Sern to ask if he knew how to get there, so he kinda knew that I was looking for someone who’s familiar with the place… Then somehow, sometime later in the evening, he rang me up again, saying I could probably try Thomas since he’s going as well… Coincidence? But the thing is, I found out only the morning itself, that he was scheduled for TV3 (sounds something like a children and teens prog or something like that) while I was for RTM, and assuming Wei gave me the right info, I didn’t really confirmed with Thomas again (actually Wei didn’t know it was a totally different thing, but since it’s “audition”, he tembak only… but of course, not his fault ler… so, don’t feel bad ler *winkz*)

Well, I met Thomas at the rally and asked him about it (Wei happened to be there so we were kinda talking a lil about it)… Somehow, he offered to give me a lift… I don’t really feel nice about it, especially if it will trouble his parents… But he insisted that it wasn’t a problem at all… I don’t actually remember him telling me that his audition will be in One U (one east, one west, can you imagine?)… Anyway, to cut the story short, since they were already here to pick me up, ikut je lar… No harm done having a look at it as well… Who knows they might call me in? Hehe…

But then I remembered that I gotta get my resume ready for my audition… So decided to call my mom pick me up… It’s like, because of the misconception, she had to come the extra journey… So, I was ready to hear bombarding from her as soon as I got in the car, and so true enuff… But, haiyah, not like I never kena before, so cincai lar… my fault anyway, hehe…

Fast forward after church… At the audition, I was asked to read through a portion of news, and then when I was ready, to go in front of the cameras… Dono how it went, gotta wait for their call… They said to give ’em two to three weeks… Then it was after everything that reality started sinking in… If this was RTM, and of all language, Malay, it will be aired only on channel 1!! Like who watches channel 1?? Of course TV3 would be a better thing in the sense that it’s more famous, like more viewers compared to TV1, what say you? And also the traveling distance is not that far (Bandar Utama compared to Angkasapuri… Imagine the diff) But it was a good exposure, though… See where God leads lar… If it is His will, He will make all things work out for the glory of His name, amen? Romans 8:28 says, “For all things work together for good, to those who love Him, and are called according to His purposes.” I leave it all to You, Lord. Amen.

SUPER, EXCELLENT, WONDERFUL RALLY!!

Haven’t had rallies for such a long time… Anticipating it and finally, here it comes!! Wow, yesterday’s worship was superb (Rachel Chan led the worship), and most of the songs were from Planet Shakers, my second favourite band *winkz* !! One song that really ministered to me is from the album ALL THAT I WANT… Titled HERE I AM… It speaks about the willingness of the heart to be used by God, going where He sends me to…Even as i am listening to it right this moment, I can feel goosebumps all over, hehe… Well, anyway, just seeing how the youths worshipped the Lord really encouraged me altogether… I believe He is beginning to do something in each of our lives, something different which He has never done before!! Amen? *winkz* Well, for me personally as well…

The message was POWERFUL, I tell you!! It really refreshed me personally… God prompted me certain things again here, and it was at such a perfect time that He delivered them through Pastor Carl Butler, all the way from NZ!! It’s truly very timely, hehe… Good lar… It’s not the matter of who the speaker was, but it’s the timing of the message… Getting our lives right with God was the main concern here and I felt that He has been constantly reminding me about this important point… Said a prayer of commitment and felt recharged and reassured about certain stuff in my life… Recharged was the exact word!!

Then as I was back at the LCD, I had a really clear view of those youths who went up for prayers of salvation (speaking of which, we had quite a number of ’em giving their lives up for JC, yoohoo, all glory to God the Father!!), even those who’s fire for the Lord had grown cold and wanted to renew their commitment again… I said a silent prayer for them (and myself), that God will begin to use them (and myself, too) mightily even as young as they are right now (like what 1 Tim 4:12 says)

I pray that the fire will not just stop here, when the rally ends, the fire ends as well, NO!! I want it to go on burning for Jesus (especially in myself…) and to be contagious Christians, spreading His Word like wildfire to places that need His presence, and people that need His love and touch… “We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us…” (Phil 4:13) AMEN!!

LADY IN WAITING by debby jones & jackie kendall

Chapter 7: Lady of Security
- Feelings of Security

Why do women tend to “go after the guys”? Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? You find the answer in one word: insecurity. Insecurity keeps a woman from experiencing consistent joy even within a relationship because a man cannot provide security, only God can.

Insecurity causes you to cling to a relationship. You feel lack of confidence unless you have a man. When he is not with you, you fear he will not come back or call again. You want him to make a commitment, so you will not lose him. You want all his time and attention. All your dreams, plans and goals revolve around him. Insecurity in a relationship can cause jealousy and bickering. It makes you lose your confidence when he looks at another woman.

Insecurity can cause you to be demanding and have unrealistic expectations of your relationship. When he hurts or disappoints you, you can be upset for days. You constantly feel the need to “define” your relationship and talk about your love for each other.

- Believing A Lie

Why do women feel they have to go after men? Many women have believed a lie. They think, “I must get the best for myself because God may not give it to me.” Ladies, God gave you the choice between His plans and yours. In the midst of her circumstances, Ruth could not have possibly seen that a man like Boaz would one day be her prince… neither can you with your limited perspective see who or where your prince will be. Only God has all things in view.

Are you trying to control your own life? Are you making plans for your life that only God should make? Don’t settle for less than God’s best. Surrender the terrible burden of always needing life on your terms. Don’t look back one day and regret that you made your “life mate” choice from a limited perspective because you longed for the security of a relationship. God can and will give you His best if you wait for it.

- Secure Love

Women tend to struggle with insecurity because of the unique way God created them. God made every little girl with the need to love and be loved by her earthly father. God designs His world with a picture of a family as a theme. The father protects, loves and cares for his wife and their children. As a little girl, you may remember feeling the desire to be cherished. Loved and accepted by your daddy. If he failed to show that love to you in God’s way, perhaps you continued to search for a man who would. Only Jesus who “is the same yesterday, today and forever,” will never disappoint or fail you (Heb 13:8)

Turn to your heavenly Father now. Pour out to Him your hearts longing to be loved. See His arms open wide and His empty lap ready to embrace and hold you near. He considers you dear. He longs to give you satisfying love. And only God’s love brings security.

- Manipulation & Maneuvering

Manipulation & maneuvering can also take the form of serving as a “surrogate (substitute) helpmeet.” Many women want to marry as badly as they wanna go to heaven. They long to care for a man, so they run around trying to find at least a “generic” version of the real thing. These precious (but deceived) women constantly look for a man with a need and pounce on that need in hopes of eventually winning the affection of the man.

A “manipulator” may hear of a female friend who needs help and callously allow her to do without it. Allow God to use you to minister to brothers and sisters equally with no ulterior motives. Another form of maneuvering is to become the guy’s “mom.” Insecure females all too often deceives themselves into thinking because they do so much for a particular young men, they will surely win his love. WRONG! Why? Most men are used to the sacrifices of a woman. Good ol’ mom has been sacrificing for him since the womb. Sure, this young man will say, “Thanks,” but young men do not marry their mothers! When a woman does something really nice for a certain guy, he usually does not spend the rest of the day thinking about her unselfish service (he may accustomed to receiving). The woman may begin to feel used.

- Motive Check

This is not to say that you cannot do nice things for a man; it is simply a warning to check your motives. A woman with selfish motivation mentally plots the next maneuver to capture the attention of the man of her dreams. Ask the Lord to reveal any impure motive that resides in your heart. To keep your motives pure, check them daily. Proverbs 16:2 says, “All a man’s [woman’s] ways seems innocent to him [her], but motives are weighed by the Lord.”

Manipulation & maneuvering can be deadly. If you maneuver to get a man, you will have to maneuver to keep him! You recognize the difference between the two by discerning your motive. Refuse to be a member of the M&M (Manipulation & Maneuvering) Team!

HOW CUD I HAVE FORGOTTEN?!

Received a mail last Wednesday from the deejay who interviewed me on AIFM radio station, Guo Xiang… I was so glad that he actually kept my interest and I in mind… Towards the end of the interview, they did ask me regarding my ambition and what I would love to do in the near future… My dream is the word that they used in mandarin… I mentioned that since young (at the age of 15 to be exact), I had always wanted to become a news reader, especially in BM… It was truly an encouragement when he said, “Hey, maybe you can leave me your contact number & email add, so that I can keep you informed whenever we do have training for newscasters…” Wow, cool!! *winks*

So, last Wednesday, when I opened my mailbox, I was so excited when I saw a mail from him… He actually emailed me to inform that there will be an audition for news reading in BM, and that they are only looking for Chinese!! But somehow I had totally forgotten about it until I checked my email again today and gosh, it’s TODAY, 10.30 a.m. to 6.00 p.m.!! I started panicking… Called a few of my friends to check if they had any idea how to get there (it’s in Klang, of all places…), but their responses were mostly negative…

Until I got a call from my aunt (and it suddenly crossed my mind that she’s the right person since she used to work in Klang years back), immediately I checked with her and all praise & glory to God she knows where it is… She even knows how to get there!! HALLELUJAH!! So, she could send me there tomorrow, after church, phew… What a relieve, man… I will kick myself for this mistake if I can’t go for it!! This is my golden opportunity sent from Heaven above and I truly thank God for all of it… Let’s just wait and see how it goes, yea?

MY NIGHTMARE… O GOSH!!

How bad could this be? I’ve really, seriously got a phobia of hospitals, and of all things, this is just what I dreamed about two nights ago… I’ve shared with Wei Sern, a very close friend (umpteen times) about my fears and worries of being admitted to a hospital, or even going to the hospitals just for ministry and visitation’s sake… Yes, the visitations are all for a good cause but the fear will somehow still be in me… Worst still if the reason is becoz I had to really go through an operation… But (I know he’s nice enuff to calm me down about my fears) he did say that if the op would give me back the use of my legs, why not just give it a try… Yes, true… But that would also have to depend on whether my doctor is in favor of the whole idea and whether she sees me fit enuff for it…

I dreamed that my doctor said I should go in for a week’s observation (tests, x-rays and whatever else)… Thank God she didn’t mention surgery… Since I was so afraid of it, and in the dream my parents don’t happen to be around in town, I could easily escape the whole thing, or so I thought… But somehow I told Wei Sern about it and of all things to say, here’s what he told me: “It’s ok, since your parents won’t be back any time soon, I can offer to send you there… Will settle your admission procedures for you, so no worries there…” Hey, that’s not what I’m worried about, the whole point here is that I didn’t wanna be admitted at all!!”

But he was so firm and insisted that I go (that firmness really creeps and scares me, man… Especially getting me to do something I hate)… I didn’t have the choice, did I? Well, I prefer not to go into details about it… Even talking about it just creeps me out!! All I’m praying & hoping is that this dream won’t come to pass, especially not with Wei Sern insisting on offering to help me with the procedures… SCARY!!Or should I say I will try not to let you know if such thing would really happen, hehe…